Physics simulation for character hair

I was trying to make a cloth-cape simulation using Bullet softbodies but I’m not very good with Bullet and/or Bullet is not very good at it (there are some Bullet cloth sim clips on youtube, but I’m not sure if they are realtime or prerendered).

The only thing that did work was the ‘cheat’ solution - I’ve attached a rope with an weight to the characters hips, as the character moved and stopped the weight would swing back and forth, I would then send the delta movement of the weight (how far it moved from its rest pose) to a shader and move some of the vertex (those that I hand painted a certain color) according to that movement.
After I’ve updated to 1.9(dev) my code stopped working and I haven’t yet tried to fix it.

If I as to make this simulation more accurate, then I’d used a few ropes - like 4 (front, back, left and right of the head), maybe one more for the top -but I don’t think it should be a rope - and moreover I’m not sure if using ropes is a good idea anyway, a hinge or ball constrain could be much better (faster?). If there should be collisions then only with the head (represented as a sphere), maybe also neck (cylinder/capsule) and shoulders (another capsule?) - I think anything more is too much for games (unless you are aiming beyond next-next-gen).